The Left Wants to See Your Penis

by | Mar 17, 2019 | Satire | 0 comments

    The Left and one of its depraved icons, Cher, has assumed the role of the Minister of Penile Enforcement, and she has a message for all American men. Cher and her comrades’ message is: “Show us your penises, or you will be punished.” 

     Recently, the Minister of Penile Enforcement Cher used social media to provide a glimpse into the Left’s plans to rein in the source of toxic masculinity, unapproved penises. Here is the minister’s tweet.

WOMEN MUST MAKE LAWS 2 CONTROL MENS BODIES. NO VIAGARA, ROGAIN, TESTOSTERONE!! ALL MEN MUST BE CIRCUMCISED & SHOW PAPERS OR PENIS 2 PROVE IT.

It appears the Left wants to take action to create man in its image. Minister Cher and her comrades prefer feminine men with flaccid, non-threatening, circumcised penises that are not used for anything other than identification. The Left opposes laws that require people to show identification to vote but want men to show their penises for ID purposes. It is odd that Hollywood, the physical headquarters of the #MeToo Mob, now wants to see every man’s penis.

     Minister Cher did not provide any details about how she will check penises for compliance but it is going to require a lot of time and effort to rid America of toxic masculinity. It is possible the Ministry of Penile Enforcement will have to hire an army of all-female agents and auditors and set up penis checkpoints across the United States.

     Gentlemen, get ready to step out of your vehicles and drop your pants so functionaries can check the appearance and blood flow of your penises. You can expect agents stationed at the checkpoints to search your car for contraband, (black market pills and supplements) then an erection specialist will put on latex gloves and check your penis. Any man caught with an uncircumcised penis or fully functioning penis will be arrested unless he submits to a roadside circumcision or a soy IV drip to lower his testosterone.

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