Police in Farmington Hills, Michigan responded to a call from a manager of a Tim Hortons restaurant who relayed to the dispatcher that a sexual deviant was touching himself at a table inside her restaurant. When the police arrived, they found a Sudanese man “sitting with his arms crossed, legs spread apart and penis erect.” The police also noticed that the man’s pants were loose enough to allow him to put his hands down his pants. Ali Ali (39) was arrested and charged with “sex offenders – failure to comply with reporting duties, disorderly person – obscene conduct and disturbing the peace.” 

      According to police, they could not interview Ali because he doesn’t speak English, but they were able to identify him because he had an expired “employment authorization card” from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS); he does the jobs Americans will not do. How can a person who doesn’t speak English obtain a work permit from DHS? What skills does Ali possess that Americans do not have and America cannot live without that justified the issuance of a work permit to him?

     Ali embodies everything that is wrong with America’s immigration system. The actions of nameless, faceless bureaucrats allow people like Ali to enter the U.S. for reasons unknown to sentient beings. However, politicians and bureaucrats tell us that immigrants make America a better place, but never provide an explanation as to how immigrants benefit America and the American people; when you ask them to provide facts to support their claim, they tell you to shut up. “Diversity is our strength, you racist, xenophobic monster!”

     How does a Sudanese migrant who cannot speak English enrich the lives of American citizens? The bureaucrats who reviewed and approved Ali’s applications apparently thought he would be an asset to America, or at least a Democrat voter. Does public masturbation culturally and economically enrich America? The Americans who suffered the misfortune of visiting Tim Hortons the day Ali decided to share his Sudanese member would like to know why he was allowed to enter the U.S. and why the expiration of his work permit did not result in his deportation. Who knows, but if Ali could speak English surely he would convey his gratitude to the bureaucrats who gave him the opportunity to masturbate inside an American restaurant. 

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