Do you ever wonder what the peaceful, brilliant members of Black Lives Matter (BLM) want from America? Maybe you watch the news and see them throwing bottles of urine and feces at Trump supporters and think, what can I do to help these innocent, docile people realize their dreams? Thankfully, a member of BLM, Chanelle Helm, has typed up a list of demands for white people, so pay attention.

  • “White people, give up the home you own to a black or brown family. Preferably a family from generational poverty.
  • White people, if any of the people you intend to leave your property to are racists as*h#les, change the will, and will your property to a black or brown family. Preferably a family from generational poverty.
  • White people, re-budget your monthly so you can donate to black funds for land purchasing.
  • White people, especially white women (because this is yaw specialty — Nosey Jenny and Meddling Kathy), get a racist fired. Yaw know what the f@#k they be saying. You are complicit when you ignore them. Get your boss fired cause they racist too.
  • Commit to two things: Fighting white supremacy where and how you can (this doesn’t mean taking up knitting, unless you’re making scarves for black and brown kids in need), and funding black and brown people and their work.”

Doesn’t Chanelle’s list make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?

white people

Chanelle Helm

     White people have a lot of work to do, starting with giving up their property to people with black or brown skin. Nosey Jenny and Meddling Kathy better get to work sniffing out racism at their jobs because all white men are racists, so keep your ears open because they are going to reveal their racism. Chanelle suggested as part of her Nobel Peace Prize-worthy dissertation that once Nosey Jenny and Meddling Kathy uncover the “sheetless Klan and Nazis” at their jobs to “get they as% fired. Call the police even. They look suspicious.” Chanelle is a genius! I think Democrats have found their candidate to run against President Trump in 2020.

     Although Chanelle’s list is profound and factual, it is incomplete. For instance, what is the deadline for white people to vacate their houses and transfer ownership to a black or brown family? Do white people have to give up their possessions inside their houses? What about vehicles; do they have to be surrendered to black or brown people? Do white people have to continue to pay the utility bills associated with the houses they vacate? What about the mortgage payments? I have to make monthly mortgage payments because my bank doesn’t recognize my white privilege, do I have to continue to pay the mortgage once the black or brown family from “generational poverty” assumes ownership? Chanelle, we eagerly await further instructions from your beautiful mind.

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